I’ve been wrestling lately with not whipping myself into a guilt-ridden frenzy. As a 20-something, a very good friend taught me the concept of “you don’t have to slay that dragon today” when dealing with parental emotional baggage. That key concept has been a life-saver.
There’s only one problem with concept though–there’s a flip-side and it’s “if you don’t slay the dragon, you’ll hobble yourself eventually.” Well, I’m at the “just realized I’ve hobbled myself” part and while I’m pretty confident in most things , there are some critical areas where the dragon is lurking. It’s time to haul-off and attack certain things like: learning to calmly confront conflict, reasonably explain and logically defend a process, learn to handle public speaking without wanting to pass out or white-knuckle-wheeze my way through a presentation.
As a knitter of obsessive tendencies, I’ve spent quite a bit of the New Year meditating on the “slay the dragon” concept and have decided that “being fearless” can certainly be applied outside of my knitting endeavors. So, onto working on the first item on my list: learning to calmly confront conflict. No, I have no idea as of yet how to approach this but I’m sure I’ll figure it out–I figured out plenty of other stuff along the way and haven’t killed myself yet.
Onto the knitting world.
Greg’s socks are done-completed Friday AM, July 3rd. I’d say they are the fastest socks (these too exactly a month of commuter knitting and incidental time during the evenings and weekends) I’ve ever knit but Britney’s Lacy Rib Socks are flying off the needles. WH modeled the socks last night. He was being silly:
Silliness with Greg's Socks
But the socks fit beautifully. I must admit the decorative rib is a mistake. Totally and utterly an incomplete interpretation of a twisted stitch from Vol. 1 of the Barbara Walker Treasury. But as with most things serindipitous–I kept it.
Stitch detail
Britney’s socks (Lacy Rib Socks from Wendy Johnson’s “Socks from the Toe-up“) really are just freakin’ flying off the needles. The first sock is complete excepting the cuff and bind-off. These were started on Friday afternoon not long after Greg’s Socks were completed.
Britney's Socks - Lacy Rib
This is really kinda freaking me out. Is it the pattern that’s allowing me to go so quickly? Is the amount of time all compressed into 4 days? Okay, logically it’s both. But still…freaky!
Now? Onto finshing said sock and starting the second one tomorrow. Yeah, nothing like a little knit ambition.
Oh, Furry Child’s illness seems to be fading. The bloodwork came back clean so we’re down to thinking “trauma” which I seriously doubt since puppy didn’t flinch at all when I a “pat-down”. For that much bruising, swelling, and edema–he would’ve had to have almost broken something. The other option is “spider bite”.
Furry Child
And WH is very happy with the garden so far. Now he’s lamenting the lack of worms for fishing.
Bee Balm
Butterfly Weed
Zucchini
Front Flower Bed
I think all the sisters have a problem with public speaking. My lack of public speaking finesse shows up on my performance reviews consistently. Conference calls where I’m asked a direct question, you can hear the quiver in my voice. I second guess myself even when I know the answer. What is this? Am I just that sensitive? And I too, have issues with conflict. I have a hard time deciding what I want and if I really care about something (which ends up pissing Jeffrey off all the time). What scary is I’m not really passionate about anything. I’m always afraid that if I am, someone is going to try to take it away from me.
I’ll also say I don’t care about little things, because I don’t want to make a decision. I hate myself when I get like this, but I’m learning to deal with it too. No amount of therapy is going to help (it usually doesn’t), and it is just better for me to move and try to forget. I like knitting, traveling, and planned adventures because it makes me feel like I am capable and good at something.
The really odd thing about it is I remember in school being fine with public speaking! Now? While I’m not in the “catatonic” category–I’ll go to just about any extreme to avoid standing up in front of a crowd of people.